


BANANA

by Mraowface



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is a massive tease, Chocolate Sauce, How not to eat a banana, M/M, Oral Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 02:02:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mraowface/pseuds/Mraowface
Summary: Aziraphale pushes the boundaries of obscene banana-consumption.  Crowley fails to cope.





	BANANA

Crowley groaned in anguish.

“Aziraphale please, I can't take any more...”

The angel looked up smugly. “What's that, dear?”

“You have to stop.”

“Dearest, I don't understand. I am merely eating fruit.”

“_That is not how you eat a banana!”_

Aziraphale paused in his blatant act of fellatio. Wearing his most sweetly angelic expression, he gestured towards the fruit bowl.

“Perhaps you'd like to show me how it's done?”

There was a crash, and Crowley fell off his barstool.

He got up from the floor, dignity somewhat in tatters, and gripped the kitchen counter. His angel was _still sucking on that fucking banana._

“Angel please, stop. I'm begging you.”

“Why, my dear?”

“It's obscene! All that licking and sucking. It's not a fucking ice cream, just bite the thing! You'd think you _wanted_ to discorporate me.”

“Ooh!” Aziraphale paused in his ministrations. “That's an excellent idea, Crowley!”

Before the demon could question what fresh horrors were about to occur, Aziraphale had already rattled round a cupboard and sourced a squeezy bottle of chocolate sauce.

Crowley cried out like one damned for all eternity.

Soon Aziraphale had poured several messy lines of sauce over the banana. He had drawn out the process by stopping several times to lick chocolate from his fingers.

Locking eyes on Crowley, he slowly and deliberately slid almost the entire banana into his mouth, chocolate sauce oozing out and covering his lips.

It was at this point that Crowley fainted.

When he awoke, he was in bed and being watched over by his angel. Who had finally bitten the tip off that fucking banana, and was actually eating the damn thing like someone with a FUCKING moral compass.

Crowley suddenly noticed two things about himself. Firstly, he was naked. Secondly: the bastard had drizzled him in chocolate sauce.

He looked up in horror. “Wh-what's going on?” As if there was any doubt of what the angel had in mind.

“Mmph.” Aziraphale swallowed the last of the banana. “I just fancied enjoying myself a little. You look absolutely delicious, darling.” He was licking his bastard angel lips.

Now under normal circumstances, Crowley would cheerfully admit to being one kinky fucker. Shibari: fantastic, loved it. Roleplay: absolutely. Being hit with great big fucking sticks: on occasion. But being _enjoyed_ like this, by his angel... Crowley's lack of self-esteem was screaming at him that this was all wrong.

Looking up again, Crowley noted that Aziraphale was tucking a napkin. He let out a petrified giggle. Crowley silently begged his angel not to leave him this fucking _exposed..._

Aziraphale's solution to this was to wave a hand, and blindfold Crowley. In the sudden darkness, he felt the angel climb onto the bed. There was a delicate suck on his nipple.

“Mmm,” Aziraphale murmured. He intended to savour every bit of his demon.

Crowley's whole body was tensed up. He felt the angel trace his tongue all the way down his arm, licking at sauce-covered skin. Aziraphale took several of Crowley's fingers in his mouth, and sucked, still moaning in pleasure.

Crowley found that if he focussed on Aziraphale, the noises he was making, the sensation of his tongue, this was just about bearable. He was absolutely not thinking about warming sensations coursing through his body, or the treacherous twinge of his dick as the angel nipped at his hip bones. He _would not_ enjoy this.

He resolutely wasn't enjoying it when Aziraphale lapped at his inner thighs, pulling them apart to kneel between them. He completely avoided imagining his angel poised to swallow his aching cock. And he absolutely didn't gasp in pleasure as Aziraphale instead took both his balls in turn into his mouth, and rolled his tongue around them.

By the time Aziraphale had decidedly moved on to the main course, making those damned eating noises throughout (the extra intense ones saved for consuming something truly exquisite), Crowley had thoroughly given in to this pleasure surrounded by darkness. He couldn't hear himself think, and all he could feel were those parts of his body that Aziraphale touched.

Aziraphale was taking his sweet time, tracing circles with his tongue that almost but not quite touched Crowley's desperate penis. When the demon's whole body was quaking under him, he eventually took pity and licked up his shaft, before opening up and sinking Crowley's entire cock into his mouth with an appreciative groan.

Crowley was fully vibrating, juddering in Aziraphale's mouth and throat. Aziraphale barely had to work at it, he just twisted his head to and fro a little, swished his tongue around, and enjoyed the demon's clearly agonised pleasure.

Knowing Crowley wouldn't last much longer, Aziraphale began to bob his head, letting the demon's cock slide in and out of his throat. As Crowley started to spasm, hands gripping the sheets, Aziraphale swallowed him down a final time, letting him spurt inside and holding him there until the angel's eyes watered.

When Aziraphale finally separated from Crowley, he sat back for a second before leaning in again, and planting a delicate kiss on the demon's cock. He waved the blindfold back out of existence, in time for Crowley to see him lick his lips in satisfaction.

Crowley looked down at his chocolate-smeared body, and the sated angel between his legs. “You're an utter bastard, you know that?”

  
Aziraphale smiled. “I know.” He clambered up the bed to embrace a miraculously non-sticky Crowley, and settled happily on his chest. He smelled of bananas, and chocolate, and lust. Crowley supposed he could live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Valvopus: you, me, and a banana...


End file.
